Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Fast Thinking Discrimination Is Destroying Our Society
A girl sits alone in her room, late on a wednesday evening studying, wishing and hoping she has done enough to live up to the racial stereotyping implemented from her family that she has to be smart and get good grades because she’s Indian.
“I am expected to get high grades by both my peers and parents” Says an Indian Grade 8 MS student “I have to push myself to the limit to prove to live up to expectations and stereotypes” Says a Asian MS student.
Underlying these words is the issue that racial stereotypes still exist in our everyday life. In this day and age especially in developed countries such as Singapore we believe there is no racism. We've eradicated slavery and racial segregation, but in truth According to A harvard online test most people show some sort of Racial Bias. This affects how we treat people of all colours.
According to Psychologist Daniel Kahneman We think both fast and slow, We weigh very few factors deliberately and the hundreds of other factors on intuitive judgement. Our intuitive judgement is called fast thinking. Our fast judgement relies on accustoms we have. “Mainly from Fictional Television shows to news reports” Says a New york Times article. These platforms rely on stereotypes both accurate and inaccurate. The key to “Fast thinking” discrimination is that we all share it.
Fast thinking discrimination doesn't only affect people of Majority Groups. Mahzarin Banaji as a woman and a member of a minority group had felt the firsthand sting of discrimination, yet she showed a very strong racial preference. She said “it was a truly disconcerting experience” As a psychologist she was one of the first person to label what is now known as fast thinking as “Automatic and Implicit stereotyping”.
Our ability to categorize and recognize is a vital part of our survival, but we have taken stereotyping too far. “When we stereotype we take gender, the age, and the colour of skin of the person before us, now our minds respond with messages that say hostile, stupid, slow and weak, these qualities aren't in our environment, they don't reflect reality” says Dr.John Borough, of New York University. And so it becomes even more clear that our mind will match general things such as gender, age and skin colour with hostile words because society has taught us to label people in such a way. Furthermore this ostracizes people from groups and leads to societies creating and grouping with people of similar race, skin colour and gender.
A study conducted in 2003 by the University of Chicago proved that employers with job openings were 50% more likely to callback the person if they had a white name. The girl who spends hours studying in school to help her get a good job will face trouble getting work because she has a “black” name but another girl who may not have worked as hard or be adequate for the job will have an arbitrary advantage because her parents decided to give her a “white” name.
A study conducted in 2009 by Harvard Research Institution in 2009 found that African- American applications with no criminal record were offered the job at a rate as low as white applicants with criminal records. How would you feel if you didn't get a job that you were highly qualified for but instead a white male with a objectionable criminal record did. Why should a qualified black male man have to suffer because our society has stereotyped him to be dangerous and incompetent.
How can we combat “fast thinking discrimination”? We can train ourselves to not hold implicit biases on race, gender, sexuality, class or any form of identity. The change is not going to be instant as these stereotypes have been put into place over hundreds of years. And it will take another hundred years to remove these stereotypes from our society. It will take generations before our brain change and stops relating negative words with people of specific people,cultures, genders and skin colours. It will take personal as well as united perseverance to change long-held and stereotypical ideas of race, gender, sexuality and ability.
Wouldn’t you want to live in world where everyone was treated equally and fairly. Where young girls are not staying up till late and night to live up to stereotypical expectations, where everyone has a chance to be equal and weren't discriminated against based on things they can't change.
By Anisha Sullivan
Teens Spending Too Many Hours On Social Media
Today,a lot of parents are concerned about their kids,spending most of their time on social media and video games.They think,that it is a complete waste of time,which distracts them from school and a normal life.Parents think,that their kids could spend this time on education and real world experience.However the kids don’t agree with that.They say it is a lot of fun playing video games with their friends and also reading jokes,texting and watching videos and photos on social media.In these days internet is a big concern for parents and the community
Kids from age of 8 to 18 on average spend 44.5 hours a week.
Nearly 23% of youth report that they feel “addicted to video games” (31% of males, 13% of females.) These are the results of a new study of 1,178 U.S. children and teens (ages 8 to 18) conducted by Harris Interactive (2007) that documents a national prevalence rate of pathological video game use.However,that is only about gaming.
If teens are, on average, spending nine hours a day consuming media, it's not such a surprise they're often doing it while doing their homework. Half of teens say they "often" or "sometimes" use social media or watch TV while doing their homework. Some 60% say they text and more than 75% say they listen to music while working on schoolwork at home.
More than 50% of teens say,that multitasking doesn’t affect their quality of work.
"Teenagers think that multitasking during homework doesn't affect their ability to learn and ... we know it does," said Steyer, citing studies such as one in Stanford,which found dramatic differences in cognitive control and the ability to process information between heavy media multitaskers and light media multitaskers.
"It's completely obvious that you can't multitask and be as effective and competent."
Also the study shows,that boys are more about gaming and the girls are more about social media.On average girls spend 40-50 more minutes than boys on social media.It is clear that girls use techonology more sociably than boys and the boys spend their time on video games.
I think parents and their kids should set a specific amount of hours or minutes per day.It would be much better if kids spent around 2 hours a day.This will lead to more face to face conversations and real life experience.
Are Singapore's Roads Still Safe?
You would think that in a law abiding and safe country like Singapore, people would make an effort to follow simple safety procedures. However, on the 28th of october, a woman was spotted trying to eat, drink and text all at the same time. She, of course, wasn’t succeeding, proceeded to clumsily drop her phone in the process. In this day and age, with our various devices to distract us, the number of road accidents seems to get higher and higher. Shockingly, the multitasking lady didn’t seem to notice that her actions could have led to her death.
Even with the knowledge that this is dangerous, people still seem to multitask while driving. Singapore is supposed to be a ‘safe’ and secure place, so how is it going to maintain this stature if it’s citizens appear to not care about their lives and their country?
This was not the only witnessed offender on the streets; A man was seen driving at high-speed while trying to drink soda and another sighted trying to read what appeared to be an email on a smart device. With the high toll of road accidents these days, people should start looking away from their screens and to the real world, as the wrong turn of a wheel can change everything.
Spirit Days
Spirit days have become more popular at UWCSEA because of dragons cup. Spirit day is a day where students get to enjoy themselves and be a kid again. Basically the school picks a theme and you dress up in something related to that theme.
Students of all ages relish spirit days. For example UWCSEA had a book theme spirit day for their middle school students. They got to dress up as a character from their favorite book. Almost the middle school students dressed up. Especially that now they have something to win. Which is the Dragon’s Cup. The Dragons Cup is like a tournament where students earn points through dressing up for spirit days and winning competitions hosted my teachers. The reason why it’s called Dragon’s Cup is because the school sports teams are called the dragons. Even the teachers wanted to get the Dragon’s Cup, so some of the teachers came up with good ideas because they wanted to get a lot of points. One class came up with that they all dress up as characters from Harry Potter.
Spirit day is a good thing for students because they get to have fun and be a kid again. It can help them release stress or pressure just by being able to be a kid. Students need spirit days and it would be a good idea for all schools to start having their own spirit days. Parents or adults should come up with the idea to have a spirit day type thing at their work. Parents would love to be a kid again and enjoy themselves.
Spirit Days at UWCSEA
On the 28th of October 2015, at UWCSEA east campus, all middle school students got the chance to dress up for twin day. Twin day was one of the three dress up days decided by the middle school community. The two other dress up days included Pyjama Day and Halloween Day. Spirit days at UWC represent the community and brings everyone together. Everybody asks each other about their costumes and there is a big buzz around the middle school. When the day finally came when middle school students could dress up, students and teachers would comment on unique costumes and talk about all the small things. On student said “I love seeing everyone dressing up, everybody put so much effort into everything!” Another said “”It’s so exciting to dress up! It makes school much more fun.” Students at UWCSEA love spirit days because it brings everyone together.
Spirit days don't just bring students together. Spirit days bring classes and whole grades together. One of the grades in middle school that really glued together were the Grade 8’s. There was lots of pressure on the Grade 8’s as of the dragon’s cup. Dragon’s cup is an new exciting and exhilarating competition between the Grade 8 Mentor groups. On the 28th of October, each mentor groups were going all out on costumes to win the most dragon points. Dragon points are awarded to the mentor groups that has the most people dress up and also with the most spirit, skill and determination throughout the day. Whichever mentor with the most points at the end of the year wins a trophy and a pizza party. By adding dragon cup points, most Grade 8 UWCSEA students wanted their class to win so everyone tried to some up with the best costumes. This shows grade school spirit but does this mean that students are just putting on a show for the points? Or for actual team spirit. Does this mean that spirit days are going to better with dragon points on the line. Will spirit days never be the same again?
Spirit days might never be the same again and neither might someone’s purity. Do parents have a say in spirit days? Do they have a say on whether or not you're going to do your homework? Most mothers would say something along the lines of “Why are you sending so much time on that costume! Why not do your homework! Don’t you want to get a good grade?” Others would say something like “Get your priorities right! You don’t need to know how to be a fashion designer, you just need to know how to do math so you can get a good job!” Spirit days are supposed to be fun but then why would someone be getting told off for spending lots of time on a costume? Just to get the dragon points. To solve this problem, someone would have to stop the dragon cup. But would that be the right decision?
Border Independance
It was a Sunday. “Half the family was moving a lot.” She says. But she also said that there was so much stuff that it took up half the room. It was just their two boys going to the boarding house. The oldest of which had his bag at the maximum capacity and a weight of 23 kilograms.
Apparently the oldest boy tends to bring everything that he was specifically told not to, the reporting team was told. “It happened many times before.” the father told us. “We can’t blame them for leaving with twice as much stuff though. However we can for bring a guitar and an amp that was never even turned on.” The parents say that the children will really have to think about what they decide to bring over on the next vacation to West Papua. To their old home. We wish them the best of luck.
Border independence is a hard thing. There is always so much crap that the borders have. And where it comes from cannot be disclosed until further notice. What the boarders have to say about this is that they try. And if you were a boarder. You would be amazed. It kinda just expands over the weeks and months. They go to the mall, maybe hawkers or fair price as well as minimart. The stuff they buy can sometimes just get lost in the rooms and then it is taken as if it was valuable.
Here we have something that was said by another border. “ For me I can definitely relate. Sometimes I might go to the tampinese mall and buy hair gel. But later when I realize I don’t need it, it just stays there, and then going back home on vacation, I will bring it because I will think that I might need it or that I might need to use it. And then I don’t .
Injuries For Days
Blood was pouring all over the fresh cut grass as John’s cut kept getting worse. Finally his mother heard him and ran over with a wet dripping cloth. John knew it was going to make him scream but he had no choice. He was going to have to suck it up and deal.
“Things happen best to move on and play through” like his father once said when he broke his wrist in a football game
Helicopter parenting is becoming a “religion” amongst many parents who are nervous about letting their kids experience the outside world.
“I immediately started feeling the pain but I am quite tough and just held it in as I called for help and tried to stay calm” says John a young man from a generation ago. What is revealed by John’s experience is that parents of his generation were very lenient toward big injuries and experiences like John’s.
John is a 14 year old boy who lives in Virginia Beach, Virginia whose parents believe in the simple beliefs and values. Like letting their kids run free unattended and only giving their kids what they deserve or making them work for what they want so that in the future they will know how to survive on their own making a living. He also thanks to not being protected from everything is quite popular at school and has managed to maintain an A average in all of his classes as he always works hard and if he does not worry if he has to work alone as he was trained to work alone.
Anne Kynigos parent of 2 teenage boys says that “helicopter parenting is detrimental to children's emotional and intellectual growth as they do not learn to think on their own”. Psychiatrist Steven Lloyd says that “parents should only be worried about serious injuries and concussions but no less as it affects kids futures. ABout 78% of kids born after 2004 have said they have helicopter parents. And 40% of the helicopter kids have become neurotic and completely dependant on their parents for almost everything.
Constant Moving
Constant moving is a problem for students, children, parents, and anyone who has to move away from home unwillingly. One day you're enjoying school with all your friends and coming home getting to see your entire family and then the next day you are told you have to pack up say goodbye to your friends because you're moving. What this is supposed to mean is that moving happens so fast and so often and you're not always expecting it. This illustrates especially when kids and teens are the ones constantly moving because they have no choice they have to go with their parents, sometimes the parents don’t have a choice either. What this means is that constant moving is not really always moving houses, but moving cities, states, countries, towns, and anywhere away from where you consider home.
When parents are constant moving they are forced to bring their children with them and have no other choice. It’s not only the kids that are affected, but also the parents. The parents go through all the hard work making sure their kids to well in school and have friends. Than it all goes away. The parents also have to leave friends too and maybe some family members.
They are also probably leaving many friends, animals, family, and anyone they knew behind. One student at UWCSEA has moved from England, South Africa, Zimbabwe, Australia, and Singapore. He said “Trouble knowing my own religion, not being able to keep bestfriends, hard to learn different cultures, hated moving houses, no animals (Friends)lonely.”. It sucks losing best friends and pets. Like he said it can get very lonely.
They are also probably leaving many friends, animals, family, and anyone they knew behind. One student at UWCSEA has moved from England, South Africa, Zimbabwe, Australia, and Singapore. He said “Trouble knowing my own religion, not being able to keep bestfriends, hard to learn different cultures, hated moving houses, no animals (Friends)lonely.”. It sucks losing best friends and pets. Like he said it can get very lonely.
Also when kids are moving a lot they are getting behind in school because they're missing important things that they were supposed to learn. Since they were missing school they were never able to learn it and unfortunately fall behind in school. Another student at UWCSEA who had moved a lot said “This impacted me a lot, because now I have left a lot of friends behind and I started to fall behind in school when I started. Now I live in a place that is so cool, but I am still trying to catch up a bit and make more friends.”. This demonstrates that this is a common problem for most kids to move and fall behind in school while losing friends.
This is also a problem for the parents who have to move and a bring their kid with them. There are many reasons why parents have to move and take their kids with them like personal reasons, work, family, and many other ones. A majority of the students that were asked why they had moved said because of their parents job. One of the parents of a student at UWCSEA was asked when they moved did they leave anyone or anything behind. They said “ I had to leave a couple of my good friends behind and it was a little difficult to get used to my new job and my new home.”. This suggests that we should find a solution for this problem.
Unfortunately there is no definite solution to this problem, but depending on the situation there is some temporary solutions. For example a problem that students seem to have is the pressure and the stress of doing well in school by teachers and parents. Maybe parents can talk to the teachers about giving them a little bit of space and time because most of the times students just need time and space to do well and catch up. The children could maybe even get extra support like tuition, counseling, therapy, or something.
There are many temporary solutions that we can use to help kids with constant moving and get them through it. The main thing is that the parents should be there for their kid and help them out. They should also talk to their teachers and give them a little bit of space, but not too much space. As long as the parents don’t pressure the kids and are there for them it should be much easier for the kid.
The Stress Of Sports Day
Late afternoon earlier this year at the UWCSEA fields, the grade seven students anxiously awaited to hear their sports day results.For some people in grade seven Sports day wasn't fun but another burden to add stress to their already academic abundant lives. Sports Day had been memorable for every class full of positives and negatives. Some classes such as 7_2, Ms Guintos class were enthusiastic. Whereas other classes such as 7_7, Mr. Murray's class were worked up and jittery as they weren't as confident about their performance.
Earlier on that day Mr. Murray's class had brutally lost to 7_2 in a game of Basketball. The game had left 3 of the 6 members of 7_7’s team injured. By halftime 7_7 was stressed about the game and fretting for the final results as they were already down 20-4. Within the first 5 minutes of the second half two players from either teams were on the floor grappling like toddlers. A player from each team were forced to pull them apart and set them aside to the benches.
The player from 7_7 came out with a twisted ankle and a badly bruised tailbone and lower back where as the player from 7_2 escaped with merely a few scratches. 7_7 was distressed at they were down by 4 in the last few minutes and knew they had no chance of winning sports day. “I don't blame us for the loss as we knew the other team had more athletic ability than us” - Long Hin, 7_7 “It was all their fault, they pulled me down and caused me to get injured they should be the ones bearing the loss” Angus Tymms, 7_7. The weight off the stress eventually knocked them down as when 7_2 went to receive the gold trophy their world went blurry as they cried buckets of tears.
This isn't the only time at UWC where kids have been stressed due to Sports. Getting into Middle School the academics get more and more challenging as they start the GCSE syllabus. On top of that they are expected to play a sport, or sports and do over 6 months of mandatory community service. There is a stress to perform and always give your best even if you are feeling under the weather. The teams are competitive and push the kids to their limit.
- Anisha Sullivan
Student Cycles Off A Cliff During Camp
On Saturday the 31st of November 2015 at around 1 pm, Shawronna Sengupta, a student from UWCSEA was involved in a serious cycling accident while on her Grade 8 Chiang Mai camping trip. The class 8ReM , Shawronna’s class, were considered lucky to be the first class to go on the Grade 8 Chiang Mai camp of the academic year but for the testing of the equipment for reports to their friends back in school in Singapore.
During their curriculum week cycling activity, the brakes on one of the bicycles were malfunctioning, causing a disability to slow down to turn. This resulted in Shawronna Sengupta cycling off the edge of a small cliff, much to the shock of her friends behind her. Luckily, the slope wasn’t very steep and Shawronna did not fall into the water at the bottom, however, the bicycle rolled over her, compressing five of the vertebrae on her spine. The ambulance was called and unlucky Shawronna was declared unable to continue with the camp. She was flown back to Singapore after being in the Chiang Mai hospital for a few days. Her classmates were told later on that she wouldn’t be in school until a week after their camp finished and they had arrived back in Singapore. She would also be wearing a back brace for 3-6 months, rendering her unable to do sports, however, it was announced that there would be no permanent damage to her spine.
“It wasn’t only scary for her,” says one of Shawronna’s friends, “it was a traumatic experience for everyone else in the class as well, especially the people who were cycling behind her. This rang true as the people behind her witnessed her cycling off the cliff at top speed. Shawronna fell off, screamed once, shouted that she was not dead, then started talking about how much her back hurt, not knowing how much damage was caused at that point. Everyone spent the rest of the day shaken and careful. Shawronna had sustained multiple other serious injuries over the course of her 13 years. Her bad luck just kept continuing.
During their curriculum week cycling activity, the brakes on one of the bicycles were malfunctioning, causing a disability to slow down to turn. This resulted in Shawronna Sengupta cycling off the edge of a small cliff, much to the shock of her friends behind her. Luckily, the slope wasn’t very steep and Shawronna did not fall into the water at the bottom, however, the bicycle rolled over her, compressing five of the vertebrae on her spine. The ambulance was called and unlucky Shawronna was declared unable to continue with the camp. She was flown back to Singapore after being in the Chiang Mai hospital for a few days. Her classmates were told later on that she wouldn’t be in school until a week after their camp finished and they had arrived back in Singapore. She would also be wearing a back brace for 3-6 months, rendering her unable to do sports, however, it was announced that there would be no permanent damage to her spine.
“It wasn’t only scary for her,” says one of Shawronna’s friends, “it was a traumatic experience for everyone else in the class as well, especially the people who were cycling behind her. This rang true as the people behind her witnessed her cycling off the cliff at top speed. Shawronna fell off, screamed once, shouted that she was not dead, then started talking about how much her back hurt, not knowing how much damage was caused at that point. Everyone spent the rest of the day shaken and careful. Shawronna had sustained multiple other serious injuries over the course of her 13 years. Her bad luck just kept continuing.
Animals Have Feelings As Well
As the truck disappeared into the distance the little calf was never to be seen again. The mother elephant felt nothing. She just stood there watching. This is what people are saying, people say that animals don’t have feelings and cannot cry emotionally, they say they can’t feel sad. Doesn’t sound more natural to say: as the truck disappeared into the distance the little calf was never to be seen again, the mother elephant felt destroyed, she felt as though she could never be happy again, tears of sadness dripped down her face. For she had just lost her baby.
Some scientists state that animals are not bothered by the fact that they are being shoved into cages for shows, forced to perform for circus and more. They are getting tazed, burned, whipped and hit for no good reason but human greed and people still think that they can’t get sad or can’t cry. “We are just like animals, we are animals” A grade 8 student at UWCSEA states. “Most people think we are better than animals but in reality we’re not”
“What you see when you actually get to know wild animals is very different from a casual sighting. If you saw human beings doing nothing but drinking water or running around a field, would you think that is all there is to human beings? If you know the people drinking the water or running around, you have a different experience watching them” Carl Safina, author of ‘Beyond Words’ states. This suggests that there is much more to animals than we see. What could be going on inside these animals minds that we are not seeing? If you saw someone walking down the street you wouldn't assume anything. That person might of been going through a divorce or just found out that he had a long lost brother. Since these are just things we will never know, we might as well consider them.
“Charles Darwin is a bit of an embarrassment for modern psychologists in that he was more willing to ascribe human emotions to animals than scientists tend to be today” Says Dr Thomas Dixon. Millions of animals are dying are year, having their family taken away, being abused and so much more and yet people still believe that animals can’t cry emotionally like us. “They can, I’ve seen it” Says some students in grade 8. Fear, all animals that live like this live in fear. People and animals are the same, except animals can be faster, smarter, hear better, see better but they don’t go around killing humans for fun. So why are we at the top of the food chain? Do we deserve to be?
Why do we make such a big deal over human slavery when we are the ones creating animal slavery, they have to work longer and harder than humans. “Humans have this very sad habit of denying the existence of any emotion or reasoning within other species but why” Because recognizing other animals as similar to us is harder. It is much harder to hurt someone you can relate to, so in order to justify the abuse of other species humans must sustain an image of us and other creatures as more dissimilar than we are. I really don’t think animals like being whipped and forced to act in circuses, I really don’t think animals like being put in a small cage all by themselves and I really don’t think animals liked having their families and friends killed.
‘Just as people began filling in the seats the elephant trainer came to untie the elephants ankle, as the chain dropped to the ground the elephant shook with fear. Forced to stand on a ball for 1 hour and if he fell he would be punished afterwards. A single tear slid down his face as he thought about his family, he was taken away when he was only 4 months old. The trainer grabbed his whip and whipped the elephant hard around the stomach just as a warning. A few years ago this elephant would have of taken this chance to run, to crush the trainer but no. This elephant was so traumatised, so broken that he just stood there, tears continuing to fall. When the elephant first taken to the circus his ankle was tied to a metal pole. He pulled and yanked for hours and hours which lead to months and months. After a year of trying the elephant gave up, believing that he would never be able to get free. As years passed the elephant grew older and stronger the elephant still never bothered to pull or yank. Although the elephant was strong enough to break free and run away, he had already given up and never bothered to try.’
Do Parents Always Know Best?
“Am I the best in class?” “Will I ever get anywhere in life?” “I have to make my parents proud” A recent survey conducted showed us that these statements go through an average teens mind almost everyday. They are frequently thinking about whether or not they are going to meet their parents expectations. The teen’s parents state that they know their child better than anyone, but the child says that their parent just doesn’t understand them.
Yup: that’s right, maybe parents don’t always know what’s best.
Most parents believe that, yes, they do know what’s best. They are older, wiser and have more experience. They believe they should have control over their child's life as they know exactly who their child is and it is their “baby” afterall. Studies of behavioural genetics shows that on average people's personalities are half genetically determined and half environmentally, and, the half that is environmentally doesn’t have to be parental. This clearly portrays that children won’t always turn out exactly like their parents.
Indeed, parents tend to get too “attached” to their child. So when they start to grow up and want some freedom their parents feel guilty. They feel like they’ve done something wrong that is pushing their child out, when it’s really just that their child is growing up and wants some freedom to go out and explore.
“Children today have many wonderful opportunities, but they need time to explore things in depth. When they are involved in too many different things they sacrifice depth for breadth”. says Peggy Patten, an early childhood specialist. Patten explores the idea of children having too much breadth and not enough depth. What children really need is a few activities that they are really passionate about, not doing every activity and exploring none of them in depth.
The truth is parents only want what's best for their child. When parents ask their child to try out a new sport or activity in school they have never done it is probably because they regret not trying it out and want their child to have the chance to. But if the child does not like the activity, it is unfair if their parents force them to continue because parents are making their child live the life they never got a chance to live.
The goals expectations and advice can be helpful, and be a guide for kids. But when parents force kids to changes their interests or passion, children start to lose faith in themselves, in their own judgement of what is right. Being a good parent is to know when to stop pushing. "Kevin doesn't have any stress. He loves everything he's doing." said a mother of an overscheduled and almost clinically depressed child. But in actuality Kevin missed playing with his friends in the neighbourhood, riding bikes, having water-balloon fights and just generally being a kid.
Adding on the the previous evidence about parents involving their kids in too many activities. This suggests that yes, parents sometimes don’t realise that they are pressuring their kid. They want their child to have the best possible childhood. The mother later added on saying “My parents, never did anything for me, I want Kevin to know that I am there for him, he is going to have a good childhood no matter what it takes.” This clearly illustrates the fact that, parents do want what's best for their children, but they have to realize when it is going over the line, when it’s just too much.
Even after all this research it’s surprising that parents are still pushing kids, in fact, ⅘ teens say that they are in an activity that their parent has forced upon them. And at least 75% of teens find their parents very clingy, a student from UWCSEA says that her mother often makes annual school expeditions about her instead. “My mum makes the trips I go on, hers. It’s like, no longer MY trip.” Again adding on to Parents wanting what’s best for their kids. This is an example of parents trying to live vicariously through their children.
One middle school student shared her experience with us. Sitting at her usual spot at school practicing the cello. Something that is part of her daily routine now, she turned to us and thought out loud. “Is this really something I love?” “Is it my true passion.” Am I only doing this for her. She said referring to her mum. Parents tend to force children to do things they never got a chance to do. 4 out of every 5 children believe that their parents want them to do things they missed on on during their childhood. Now you might be thinking, well of course parents will want their children to try things they never got a chance to do because that's what they think is best for their children. But if this means changing a child’s passion. Then it is wrong.
Yes of course parents will always want to do what's best for their child. They want to make sure that their children get to try out everything so that they can choose what they want to do and not feel like they missed out on anything. They will always want their child to have to best opportunity to live their life and not feel like they could have explored more. But is this really the best option?
Parents should try and sit down with your child sometimes, make sure they’re doing ok. Ask them if they feel like it’s just a little too much for them to handle. Let them do the things they really want to do and explore. Having this chat with their children a few times a month will help them. It will also help their child feel like their parents still care , and that they’re not just doing it for the sake of doing it.
Maybe we don’t need to give our children all these opportunities, maybe it is just confusing them even more. Try and introduce them to a few things and then let them make that decisions of delving deep into it or just having it there for fun. After all their personality is only half determined by genetics.
Yup: that’s right, maybe parents don’t always know what’s best.
Most parents believe that, yes, they do know what’s best. They are older, wiser and have more experience. They believe they should have control over their child's life as they know exactly who their child is and it is their “baby” afterall. Studies of behavioural genetics shows that on average people's personalities are half genetically determined and half environmentally, and, the half that is environmentally doesn’t have to be parental. This clearly portrays that children won’t always turn out exactly like their parents.
Indeed, parents tend to get too “attached” to their child. So when they start to grow up and want some freedom their parents feel guilty. They feel like they’ve done something wrong that is pushing their child out, when it’s really just that their child is growing up and wants some freedom to go out and explore.
“Children today have many wonderful opportunities, but they need time to explore things in depth. When they are involved in too many different things they sacrifice depth for breadth”. says Peggy Patten, an early childhood specialist. Patten explores the idea of children having too much breadth and not enough depth. What children really need is a few activities that they are really passionate about, not doing every activity and exploring none of them in depth.
”Parents think their kids will grow up and remember all the wonderful activities they were involved in.” says Melanie Coughlin, a licensed marriage and family therapist. This offers evidence of parents not really knowing what their child is going through. Coughlin later added “They will really only remember how exhausted they were and their parents yelling at them to get ready for the next activity,” and so it becomes even more clear that parents don’t always make the right decisions.
The truth is parents only want what's best for their child. When parents ask their child to try out a new sport or activity in school they have never done it is probably because they regret not trying it out and want their child to have the chance to. But if the child does not like the activity, it is unfair if their parents force them to continue because parents are making their child live the life they never got a chance to live.
The goals expectations and advice can be helpful, and be a guide for kids. But when parents force kids to changes their interests or passion, children start to lose faith in themselves, in their own judgement of what is right. Being a good parent is to know when to stop pushing. "Kevin doesn't have any stress. He loves everything he's doing." said a mother of an overscheduled and almost clinically depressed child. But in actuality Kevin missed playing with his friends in the neighbourhood, riding bikes, having water-balloon fights and just generally being a kid.
Adding on the the previous evidence about parents involving their kids in too many activities. This suggests that yes, parents sometimes don’t realise that they are pressuring their kid. They want their child to have the best possible childhood. The mother later added on saying “My parents, never did anything for me, I want Kevin to know that I am there for him, he is going to have a good childhood no matter what it takes.” This clearly illustrates the fact that, parents do want what's best for their children, but they have to realize when it is going over the line, when it’s just too much.
Even after all this research it’s surprising that parents are still pushing kids, in fact, ⅘ teens say that they are in an activity that their parent has forced upon them. And at least 75% of teens find their parents very clingy, a student from UWCSEA says that her mother often makes annual school expeditions about her instead. “My mum makes the trips I go on, hers. It’s like, no longer MY trip.” Again adding on to Parents wanting what’s best for their kids. This is an example of parents trying to live vicariously through their children.
One middle school student shared her experience with us. Sitting at her usual spot at school practicing the cello. Something that is part of her daily routine now, she turned to us and thought out loud. “Is this really something I love?” “Is it my true passion.” Am I only doing this for her. She said referring to her mum. Parents tend to force children to do things they never got a chance to do. 4 out of every 5 children believe that their parents want them to do things they missed on on during their childhood. Now you might be thinking, well of course parents will want their children to try things they never got a chance to do because that's what they think is best for their children. But if this means changing a child’s passion. Then it is wrong.
Yes of course parents will always want to do what's best for their child. They want to make sure that their children get to try out everything so that they can choose what they want to do and not feel like they missed out on anything. They will always want their child to have to best opportunity to live their life and not feel like they could have explored more. But is this really the best option?
Parents should try and sit down with your child sometimes, make sure they’re doing ok. Ask them if they feel like it’s just a little too much for them to handle. Let them do the things they really want to do and explore. Having this chat with their children a few times a month will help them. It will also help their child feel like their parents still care , and that they’re not just doing it for the sake of doing it.
Maybe we don’t need to give our children all these opportunities, maybe it is just confusing them even more. Try and introduce them to a few things and then let them make that decisions of delving deep into it or just having it there for fun. After all their personality is only half determined by genetics.
The innocent student now has to force himself to sleep from what he has gone through in school today.
That’s right, he gets bullied in school.
One of the most common reason people get bullied is because of their look or image. From fat to thin or black to white or tall to small, everyone can get discriminated or bullied because of their looks, maybe even because of the country they are from or the religion they are part of.
Ever heard the quote “if people are trying to bring you down, it only means that you are above them.”?
Well it’s probably true. You may also get bullied at school (other than your differences) because the people bullying you may have lost their parent while you have yours, or your family maybe richer than other people’s, or it maybe sometimes that they just like your personality and they are jealous of it. In the end, it only comes down to jealousy although sometimes it maybe because of pure hatred although that will be a bit unlikely.
There are also many different types of bullying like physical bullying, verbal bullying and nowadays to the new “technology”, cyber bullying.
Cyberbullying is when people get bullied through new social media like Instagram, Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter, Many More. They could write their flaws on social media in not a nice way or write hate comments that could offense them deeply.
Nowadays both adults and kids are now vulnerable to cyber bullying because of the amount of time they spend on their “technology”.
Over 14% of students in high school consider committing suicide because of many different reasons, mostly because they have been too much mentally traumatized.
Vanshaj from Grade 8 was apparently a victim of cyberbullying and had mild suicidal thoughts but was wise enough to report this to his mother who fixed this problem with the bully’s mother. That was a lucky and good example of what to do when you get bullied in any form of way.
Ever heard of “fake friends” or ever experienced them?
If you don’t know, Fake Friends are bullies who want to find out your crushes or secrets you're not willing to tell anyone so they manipulate into telling them by pretending to be your friend until they earn your trust or sometimes that may not even be the reason. They may think lowly of you or your gang of friends and be pretending to be “hanging out” with you guys. The story down below is about a girl named Emmeline and although she isn’t bullied as much as other kids, it is a good example of “fake friends”.
“My name is Emmeline (pronounced like Em-ah-lyn). My story isn't all that bad, but I want to show a new form of bullying most teachers in my school don't recognize and my story that was mentioned very subtly to my friends.
When I was little, and in kindergarten, I was pretty chubby and naive, so people were always annoyed at me. I had never noticed this; if they laughed at me, I would think I had said something funny which made me do more embarrassing things. I was friendly and always saying "hi" to people I haven't known long and they give me a weird look; if they're a guy, they would think I like them. First and second grade was the same thing. Finally my senses came to me: one day at school this boy (who would be soon be called "popular") had laughed at me because I was very weird in my own way. Then I thought, why is he laughing at me? It wasn't that funny.
So, because I regretted the way I was, I changed.
My parents (coincidentally) said I needed to lose weight because the doctor said I was overweight. If I was younger, I would have protested. But I was so eager to change I said yes. I was on a diet and it was a huge help. I lost about 15 pounds. Once the happy, friendly, naive girl, I realized people don't like that. Why? I always asked myself. Now I know. But more on that later.
Eventually I became more shy, stopped raising my hand (because my answers would be wrong and "ridiculous"), and stopped making more friends. That boy who made fun of me though, sort of became friends with me just because we always talked in class (and I must admit I sorta had a crush on him). But by the fourth grade, I learned my lesson not to say hi to him. And then he said the most stupidest thing about me when a friend of mine mentioned me: "Who's Emmeline?"
I was pretty mad, but getting mad over those things is stupid. Wasting your time on those people isn't worth it.
Things changed a lot after fifth and sixth. I had changed, and by the sixth grade that boy was in my class yet again. We both learned our lesson: to not speak to one another. We mostly just spoke like one or twice a day, but that was it. I was still naive in that year, but now I'm in seventh grade, and I would say I have been "evolved." I'm usually sarcastic now, speaking quietly to people who would judge me, but with friends I would be myself. I started dressing differently too, and still had to maintain my weight even though I still love food. People had been mad at me at gym; if I don't do a good job on the team, if I dropped the ball - but those people, like I said, aren't worth it (btw, people are judging me cuz we didn't win the game? Well, 1. I'm not that good in sports because 2. I'm an asthmatic). I even cried once, but got over it.
Today, people in school don't bullying you in a very blunt way. They do it more manipulatively, but I know I'm not fooled. (I even made myself my own quote) They would ask you to come over and hang out with your group, slowly making you feel comfortable with them and behind your back - laughter about what ridiculous things you do. If you did something weird, they would "encourage" you to do more just to laugh at you. They would even try to make fun of you by asking them to be your friend. This girl is (calling her weird is rude) sorta... Naive about the things around her. Boys pretend they have a crush on her; following her, saying I love you, hugging her. I wish she would just be able to figure out that, they're trying to bully her by letting her comfort get out. I will say something, I just need to find my self-confidence that I lost in the third grade. But it's coming, don't worry.
They say to tell on people who bully you, but why? In that form of bullying (I call it "manipulative bullying") would they believe you? The people will just continue on and on and on and they would probably believe no one.
I know this wasn't a bad bullying story, but I just wanna say, be careful with the people you are with. Because people are cruel these days in the most implicit and quiet way possible. Try to stay with the crowd, but be yourself. As in, don't let the other people get you down. And always watch out, because when do we know what is real, and what is not.
~Don't fool a person who had been fooled.
PS, the reason why people feel you're weird because you're friendly? Because they aren't used to someone as nice as you.”
The above story is about Emmeline’s story and as you can see, fake friends aren’t people you should hang out with.
Remember, don’t be the person who is filled of jealousy towards other people and always remember bullying never achieves anything. “Pulling someone down will never help you reach the top.”
Teenage Insecurity
Oh the things we do to fit in. We go so far but really? How far are we going?
It’s a Wednesday afternoon and a girl is crying in the bathroom alone because she doesn’t feel good enough. She put in so much effort into studying at home but she get’s a 4 in her test. She decides to lie to her parents because she doesn’t want to let them down. She lied to the people closest to her. But why?
Feeling like you're not good enough is very common. A middle school student quotes, “Because we have access to the internet, we have created this perfect body image that nobody can achieve”. This evidence signifies that if a girl doesn’t feel like she meets the standard of the perfect girl, then she is useless and isn’t perfect but then again, nobody is perfect. Middle school girls can feel many different ways. Like they’re not smart enough, popular enough, fun enough, good enough for anyone and anything. They can feel like this at home, at school, with their friends and when they’re alone.
More and more teens are feeling insecure everyday and one of the main factors of this is social media. Most girls have social media. According to Jon Negroni, he says that “Bragging can cause low self-esteem. As a result of this, it’s not just bragging anymore, it’s become a social competition.” Teens go on social media and see what other people are doing and how much fun they’re having. This causes them to feel left out and them wanting what that person has. But why would we want what others have when we could have just as much as them.
Why can’t we accept what we have and what we don’t have. Why do we have the want for everything else? Why can't we accept what we have and who we are and not try to change because everybody is perfect and nobody should have the want to change to get someone’s approval.
Social media does have its’ pros and cons for example seeing what your family is doing and keeping in touch with friends but then again, social media can lead to insecurity and in major cases depression. Social media can be perceived in many different ways, many good and many bad. That’s all up to the person who is affected by social media in the first place.
Another factor that plays a big role with insecurity and teens is not talking to their parents/ guardians. 7 in 10 girls believe that they are not good enough or measure up to their parents expectations. What is revealed here is that girls need to talk to their parents about their expectations and what they can and cannot achieve. Being scared about your parents is not the way to go. The top wishes among teenage girls is to communicate with their parents better.
This indicates that if teens just talked to their parents, they wouldn’t have to be insecure about most the things they are with. They wouldn’t need to be scared of not looking good enough for their friends, for getting the best grade on a test and fitting in. Because if girls just talked to their parents, they could receive some great advice which would help them in the future, for anything. Talking to your parents could be the easiest remedy for teen insecurity.
If you are feeling insecure for whatever reason, try talking to the people closest to you. For example your parents/ guardian, teachers or friends. They will understand what you're going through and will want to help you as much as they can. Another thing to try is disconnecting from social media for a while. Enjoy your life as it is and not what other people are doing in tiny minescule pictures on your screen. If you want to wear something or do your hair in a different way, just do it. Nobody should care what people think because if you like it, then that's what matters. What matters is that you're happy and that you are living life to the extreme.
We need strong empowered woman in this world and if girls are feeling insecure about how they look, the world is going to crumble. Yes boys do work and put in the effort and woman can do the exact same thing as them and in some cases, even better. If girls are insecure, the school will struggle. No one will have a strong opinion about how girls are treated and act making the boys push the girls around. Girls should be able to stand up for themselves but if everyone is insecure and afraid, then how are girls going to stand up for themselves in the real world past school?
What if most of the girls in the world were insecure, what would the world look like? Girls would have no rights or any privileges. If you know you are insecure or know somebody who does feel insecure, talk to them and all of their problems could be solved. You just need to talk.
Traffic lights, just a suggestion?
Friday crowd night as the traffic ruled in fort bonifacio and as the as lights jammed the roads and the crowds of people surround around tight exhausted faces of corners after workdays and the super violent roads of cars clashing crashing bumping beeping as clans of tired working people run through the rain with the most recognized dangerous crossing as cars were still passing by.
Cars were passing as green lights didn't go on for them and of course same for people,it was like red light equals go causing the chaos of all times and as many close accidents that could have turned out to be near death the bashing of the cars very normal for the local people as it was not “OMG that was close” shouts foreigners who weren't used to it.
It as Friday the 19th as if it must have felt like Friday the 13th for foreigners visting and seeing this sight for the within a long time since things had changed so much within 5 years of all that clear calm space was gone.The nice view had turned into a traffic chaotic mess.It was recognized that the traffic system wasn't working well and unsafe.But this had seemed and been reconized by people observing as a very bad and dangerous practice as it definitely will be causing a lot accidents on the road and near death incidents.It caused traffic and kaoz causing 100s of people missing there flight that day and the consequences coming after every person missing their flights especially for foreigners that didn't realize that planning and timing was key.
People in Manila are one of the most nice but when it comes to pressure times shifting from places to places as the crowds bump and clash through the roads.It wasn't the people because most are very polite and kind hearted than ever will be met but it was that it was crowded and traffic causing the pressure to people that they would be late for whatever they were going to.It was overall the cooperation of chaotic indviduals which wouldn’t work together to follow the rules and order to keep it all in place without the mad insane traffic and crossings.
The Stereotype Station Shouldn’t Be This Popular
The half-Chinese student goes to summer camp in Canada, people ask her where she learnt to use a knife and fork. Her peers tell her to get some chopsticks. They ask her how she can speak english so well, how she has an american accent.
If only these were genuine events of curiosity. Instead, they represent the way in which stereotypes still exist. Assuming everyone who fits into a certain ethnic group all have the same strengths and weaknesses, act the same, are the same. But nevertheless they are deceptions. “Stereotypes are fast and easy because they are lies, and the truth takes it’s time.” claims author Deb Caletti.
Stereotypes are the way that we try organize everything in our brain because one similarity isn’t enough, they are just attempts at over generalisation in a world where there is nothing but diversity. Novelist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie “The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story” This offers evidence to support the idea that stereotypes aren’t always false, they just fail to account for natural differences in humans
The truth is stereotypes create pressure. They create standards even when they are posed as jokes, the comedy doesn’t outweigh the seriousness. According to one UWCE kid who chose to remain anonymous, “My friends have been extremely rude and critical when I got a grade that was not very high. They told me that it was really rare just because I was Indian.” This indicates that this stereotype has created pressure for her and shaped her. It made her actually feel bad about herself because of some stereotype that applies to some people but not all. But, it’s not only the mental capabilities, it also in the physical appearance. When the japanese child smiles, and his friends say that he has small eyes, that doesn’t help him. Now, whenever he smiles, he’s insecure, he’s scared that they are going to comment about his eyes, again.
These kind of comments might seem uncommon but that isn’t reality. 100% of people surveyed in a private survey admitted that people had commented about them based on stereotypes and 80% of people said that these comments were posed as jokes, from that only 40% of people said that they were offended compared to 100% when they were serious. What this exemplifies is that even when the commentor believes they are making a harmless joke, people still get hurt just the same.
The issue is that not only do stereotypes bring people down, they can actually weaken normal performance. “The idea is that when a person’s identity has a negative stereotype attached to it and that person engages in important activities that are relevant to that stereotype, he or she will become distracted and anxious and then underperform in a manner consistent with the stereotype”, remarked Claude Steele, psychologist and current Executive Vice Chancellor at University of California, Berkeley. And so it becomes clear that the pressure created by stereotypes even when they are fiction can subconsciously transition into our actions and we unknowingly, unwillingly make ourselves stereotypes.
An experiment performed by Steele and his colleagues proved this theory. The experiment consisted of 4 groups, 2 of equal mathematical intelligence of men and 2 of women. They all completed an exam in which because of the stereotype that women are naturally worse at math than men, women placed a whole standard deviation lower than men. Then, when the women were told before the test that “you may have heard that women are not as good at math, … but that’s not true for this test, this is a test where women always do as well as men …,” the women got the same results as the men. The difference has disappeared simply because of the fact they were told that usually they do the same as men, the creation of a non-negative stereotype improved their performance, it made them feel like they could do it and they therefore were a lot less anxious and stressed.
Stereotyping people can have a huge impact on people, not only their ability to mimic them because of mental stress, but they can also cause decreased self esteem, aggression, inability to focus, lack of self control and the incapability to make rational decisions. And Michael Inzlicht, professor of psychology also claims that these impacts stay with the people forever, they carry around this baggage for the rest of their lives.
But, there is a solution, there is a way to break the stereotype. “Stereotypes lose their power when the world is found to be more complex than the stereotype would suggest. When we learn that individuals do not fit the group stereotype, then it begins to fall apart” said lawyer and politician Ed Koch. We simply need to embrace diversity, embrace uniqueness and understand that everybody is different, everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, everyone has different hobbies and everyone is different. One common similarity like race doesn’t make everyone the same and understanding that, is the key to solving this issue.
Try thinking about yourself and the stereotyped comments people have said to you, did they make you a better person or insecure? How about the stereotyped comments you have told other people, 60% of people admitted they had made comments and the other 40% responded that they don’t think they had, but might have. These comments even when posed as jokes are harmful for your health and future. Of the surveyed bunch, 54% believe that there is never a time where it is okay to make stereotyped jokes but all admitted to having made them before. Keeping a double standard for such a serious topic like this, isn’t the way to go.
So before judging, before making a stereotyped comment, think it through. Annie Murphy Paul stated that “We all use stereotypes, all the time, without knowing it. We have met the enemy of equality, and the enemy is us.”
If only these were genuine events of curiosity. Instead, they represent the way in which stereotypes still exist. Assuming everyone who fits into a certain ethnic group all have the same strengths and weaknesses, act the same, are the same. But nevertheless they are deceptions. “Stereotypes are fast and easy because they are lies, and the truth takes it’s time.” claims author Deb Caletti.
Stereotypes are the way that we try organize everything in our brain because one similarity isn’t enough, they are just attempts at over generalisation in a world where there is nothing but diversity. Novelist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie “The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story” This offers evidence to support the idea that stereotypes aren’t always false, they just fail to account for natural differences in humans
The truth is stereotypes create pressure. They create standards even when they are posed as jokes, the comedy doesn’t outweigh the seriousness. According to one UWCE kid who chose to remain anonymous, “My friends have been extremely rude and critical when I got a grade that was not very high. They told me that it was really rare just because I was Indian.” This indicates that this stereotype has created pressure for her and shaped her. It made her actually feel bad about herself because of some stereotype that applies to some people but not all. But, it’s not only the mental capabilities, it also in the physical appearance. When the japanese child smiles, and his friends say that he has small eyes, that doesn’t help him. Now, whenever he smiles, he’s insecure, he’s scared that they are going to comment about his eyes, again.
These kind of comments might seem uncommon but that isn’t reality. 100% of people surveyed in a private survey admitted that people had commented about them based on stereotypes and 80% of people said that these comments were posed as jokes, from that only 40% of people said that they were offended compared to 100% when they were serious. What this exemplifies is that even when the commentor believes they are making a harmless joke, people still get hurt just the same.
The issue is that not only do stereotypes bring people down, they can actually weaken normal performance. “The idea is that when a person’s identity has a negative stereotype attached to it and that person engages in important activities that are relevant to that stereotype, he or she will become distracted and anxious and then underperform in a manner consistent with the stereotype”, remarked Claude Steele, psychologist and current Executive Vice Chancellor at University of California, Berkeley. And so it becomes clear that the pressure created by stereotypes even when they are fiction can subconsciously transition into our actions and we unknowingly, unwillingly make ourselves stereotypes.
An experiment performed by Steele and his colleagues proved this theory. The experiment consisted of 4 groups, 2 of equal mathematical intelligence of men and 2 of women. They all completed an exam in which because of the stereotype that women are naturally worse at math than men, women placed a whole standard deviation lower than men. Then, when the women were told before the test that “you may have heard that women are not as good at math, … but that’s not true for this test, this is a test where women always do as well as men …,” the women got the same results as the men. The difference has disappeared simply because of the fact they were told that usually they do the same as men, the creation of a non-negative stereotype improved their performance, it made them feel like they could do it and they therefore were a lot less anxious and stressed.
Stereotyping people can have a huge impact on people, not only their ability to mimic them because of mental stress, but they can also cause decreased self esteem, aggression, inability to focus, lack of self control and the incapability to make rational decisions. And Michael Inzlicht, professor of psychology also claims that these impacts stay with the people forever, they carry around this baggage for the rest of their lives.
But, there is a solution, there is a way to break the stereotype. “Stereotypes lose their power when the world is found to be more complex than the stereotype would suggest. When we learn that individuals do not fit the group stereotype, then it begins to fall apart” said lawyer and politician Ed Koch. We simply need to embrace diversity, embrace uniqueness and understand that everybody is different, everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, everyone has different hobbies and everyone is different. One common similarity like race doesn’t make everyone the same and understanding that, is the key to solving this issue.
Try thinking about yourself and the stereotyped comments people have said to you, did they make you a better person or insecure? How about the stereotyped comments you have told other people, 60% of people admitted they had made comments and the other 40% responded that they don’t think they had, but might have. These comments even when posed as jokes are harmful for your health and future. Of the surveyed bunch, 54% believe that there is never a time where it is okay to make stereotyped jokes but all admitted to having made them before. Keeping a double standard for such a serious topic like this, isn’t the way to go.
So before judging, before making a stereotyped comment, think it through. Annie Murphy Paul stated that “We all use stereotypes, all the time, without knowing it. We have met the enemy of equality, and the enemy is us.”
Unrealistic Beauty Standards In The Media
Unrealistic beauty standards have resulted in a number of young girls and women to develop eating disorders, mental and physical health problems.
With almost all magazines and media photoshopping their models to have thigh gaps and fixing all their ‘flaws’ These outrageous beauty standards in the media affect almost all children, especially young girls and teens. Showing them that this is what society expects them to look like and if they have ‘flaws’ or don’t fit into a certain weight category it will effect them in a negative way. With a lot of dangerous diets and ‘cleanses claiming that this will make you look 100 times better, ’ there is a result in a number of young girls and women developing some mental and physical health problems. Within the last couple of years society has supported the idea that the ‘thigh gap’ since then there have been a number of dangerous diets to try to achieve the thigh gap.
“I wish that I had a thigh gap” “Have you seen this model's flat stomach? I wish I had a flat stomach” “I hate my body” A young girl, who will remain nameless (age 9) Her mother responded “I think that it's heart breaking that young girls and women hate their own bodies because the media has brainwashed them into thinking that they need to look a certain way”
With almost all magazines and media photoshopping their models to have thigh gaps and fixing all their ‘flaws’ These outrageous beauty standards in the media affect almost all children, especially young girls and teens. Showing them that this is what society expects them to look like and if they have ‘flaws’ or don’t fit into a certain weight category it will effect them in a negative way. With a lot of dangerous diets and ‘cleanses claiming that this will make you look 100 times better, ’ there is a result in a number of young girls and women developing some mental and physical health problems. Within the last couple of years society has supported the idea that the ‘thigh gap’ since then there have been a number of dangerous diets to try to achieve the thigh gap.
“I wish that I had a thigh gap” “Have you seen this model's flat stomach? I wish I had a flat stomach” “I hate my body” A young girl, who will remain nameless (age 9) Her mother responded “I think that it's heart breaking that young girls and women hate their own bodies because the media has brainwashed them into thinking that they need to look a certain way”
Anxiety And Stress For Teens Today
With the oral exam looming ahead, she sat on the bathroom floor rocking back and forth, crying, desperately wishing someone to kill her before school started. The thought of an oral exam almost made her belch. This girl has anxiety, not just the emotion, but the disorder.
Anxiety is a common emotion, however, for people with the disorder, anxiety is so extreme that it takes over their lives. It comes in many different forms, so it is not easy to tell. Panic attacks, phobias, and social anxiety are some of them. Social anxiety occurs more commonly for teens as they especially have to endure judgement everyday, from peers and teachers alike, so it is not surprising that some even have an unreasonable fear of social situations. Panic attacks can also be common; it is when a person is constantly worrying, sometimes without a reason to be. They can be severe, and the victim may feel like they can’t breath. It gets harder and harder to talk to someone and harder to think about what to do. “During a panic attack everything's a mess and nothing makes sense,” adds a victim of anxiety. Sadly, anxiety can also bring along a friend; depression.
Depression is a medical condition that affects how you think, behave and function. It is a growing problem amongst the young, and about 121 million worldwide are affected. It can be mainly caused by anxiety, which comes from pressure and stress and school and at home. The workload teens face from these days can be a great deal, alongside the pressure to get into good schools and other extra curricular activities. On top of that, students are always labelled by the numbers and rankings they get in school as well as the labels from other students, it is common to know that most have self esteem problems.This can happen to anyone, however, for people suffering from anxiety, this is how it feels like all the time. Sometimes, for children, the anxiety and the fear of being judged can affect their education. One 13 year old student at UWC shared that “I used to play rugby, but there were no girls teams so I had to play with the boys”. She added that “Because of this I obviously felt judged and I quit doing something I loved”. She is not the only one, as a lot of kids stop following their passion because of the fear of what people think. Anxiety may stop you from following your dreams and stress out from school, however, there are many ways to help.
Nowadays, there are plenty of support groups available, physically and even online. More and more people have also become more aware about topics like this. It is important to do what is best for yourself, and know that there are other people who also feel the same and who are here to help. There are a lot of antidepressants and medication available, however, make sure it is safe and prescribed before use.
Apart from medication, there plenty of other methods to help deal with panic attacks or anxiety. One anonymous tumblr user suggested going outside and taking in the fresh air. They also suggested practicing breathing techniques, also advising to “practise them before, when you feel calm, so you know how to use them and they are familiar to you when you need them”. Taking deep breaths and counting to 10 also helps. Listen to music, read and take a time-out.
It is also important to talk to someone who you feel comfortable with. If there isn’t anyone you know who understands, there are a lot of support groups on the internet or in your area. Like mentioned before, there are many others dealing with the same person. Letting it out instead of keeping it all in is extremely helpful. One of the main causes of panic attacks is stress, and stress can be caused by the lack of sleep. Let your body rest and get additional sleep. If your anxiety is stopping you from getting any rest, try focusing on your breathing or counting. As well as rest, your body will also still need balanced meals. Do not skip any meals, and have energy boosting snacks at hand.
Anxiety and panic attacks aren’t things you can ignore, and should be acknowledged. If someone needs help, they shouldn't be ignored.
Girls Can’t But Boys Can
She stands alone, nobody passes to her. She’s not good enough because she’s a girl.
People always seem to say that girls are weaker than boys. That they're not as good in sports and are mostly inferior to boys. This has created a stereotype that girls everywhere have to fight against. It isn’t correct. Girls can be as strong as boys. Almost always, girls prove the theories wrong.
Take for example this situation that happened a few years ago to a female fourth-grade student in India who had joined an after school football activity. She was the only girl. When she arrived at the field, the boys started talking amongst themselves. She could hear snatches of the conversation; somethings she heard were: “I hope she’s not in my team… All girls are really bad at football.” Also, things like: “Ugh, girls can’t do sports. Why do they even try?”
The activity went on and the students were put into teams. When the girl was sent to a team, the boys there groaned loudly and whispered to each other: “Don’t pass to her.” The game commenced and the boys kept their word; they never passed to her, even if she was the only one without a defender. Eventually, people stopped defending her. Once, somebody accidentally kicked the ball in her direction. They shouted out in frustration but she leaped into action, dribbling down the field and scored a goal. The boys were silent after that and started passing to her. The student is now in eight-grade, and that wasn’t the only time something like that had happened to her.
Something similar happened to another girl just last year when she was in seventh grade. There was a lunchtime basketball tournament among the classes. One rule was that at least one girl had to be playing on court at a time for each team. This rule was met by many protests from the boys. Nevertheless, the rule stood, as it had many years before. The boys always put one girl, nothing other than one girl and four boys. When the games started, they never passed to the girl that was playing. Finally, one of the four girls that were rotating on and off managed to intercept the ball from the opposing team and score a goal, all in less than fifteen seconds. After that, the boys passed to that girl, but still not to the other girls.
Both of the stories suggest that it was as if the girls had to prove themselves to the boys. As if they had to prove that they could play. However, the boys never even gave them a chance.
Every 13 to 14 year old girl who was interviewed said that at least once in her life, someone said that she couldn’t do something well because she was a girl. Most of the girls even had more than three experiences. Just think about it. If a 14 year old girl has been through more than three experiences where people have thought that they were restricted because she was a girl, how many times would that happen to a 20 year old? To a 30 year old? These things, these discriminative thoughts that people do or think can really restrict activities for girls. Another grade 8 student agrees. “People generally think that because you are a girl, you can’t be sporty or good at certain sports.” She says. This is true; but it doesn’t just happen in sports, it also happens in things like engineering, computer sciences and web designing.
This idea that ‘girls can’t’ doesn’t just appear in schools. It’s apparent in real life, too; like when you’re an adult. Gretchen Cawthorn is a lady who knows what it’s like to be told that she can’t do something because she’s a girl. When working in an internet-orientated company, Gretchen was told that girls can’t do web design by a business partner. In 2005, she proved him wrong by setting up ‘Girls Can’t What’ (girlscantwhat.com) all by herself. ‘Girls Can’t What’ is a website that provides girls with the opportunity to share their stories and receive inspiration from others. “The world is not against you, they just don’t know you.” Gretchen says. What she means to say by this is that although people may think that you can’t do something just because you’re a girl, it doesn’t mean that they are preventing you from doing anything. It might be hard, but you just have to step up and make them realise that you can. Make them know the real you, not some stereotype about girls.
So what else can you do about this issue that has been going on for decades, maybe even centuries? Everything comes down to the younger generations. Teach the young to have respect. From a young age, being exposed to an open mindset about girls can shape the future, especially the future of females.
But what about now, you might ask. What can you do now? Well, for boys, change your mindset! Don’t ever think that girls can’t do something just because they’re girls. Don’t separate the females from the males. Give both of them equal chance to prove themselves. If you’ve never thought girls couldn’t do something, keep it up.
And girls, to all the girls. Don’t let boys get you down, show them that you can do it. If somebody says that you can’t, use their comments as motivation to show them that you can; you need to prove them wrong. If you prove them wrong, you can prove the rest of the world wrong, too. Ignore any criticism you get from anybody. Just focus on doing what you love. It might take some time, so be patient. The world will need some time to change people’s ways of thinking, but they can change, and they will.
Sources:
Girls Can’t What by Gretchen Cawthorn
http://www.girlscantwhat.com/about/
People always seem to say that girls are weaker than boys. That they're not as good in sports and are mostly inferior to boys. This has created a stereotype that girls everywhere have to fight against. It isn’t correct. Girls can be as strong as boys. Almost always, girls prove the theories wrong.
Take for example this situation that happened a few years ago to a female fourth-grade student in India who had joined an after school football activity. She was the only girl. When she arrived at the field, the boys started talking amongst themselves. She could hear snatches of the conversation; somethings she heard were: “I hope she’s not in my team… All girls are really bad at football.” Also, things like: “Ugh, girls can’t do sports. Why do they even try?”
The activity went on and the students were put into teams. When the girl was sent to a team, the boys there groaned loudly and whispered to each other: “Don’t pass to her.” The game commenced and the boys kept their word; they never passed to her, even if she was the only one without a defender. Eventually, people stopped defending her. Once, somebody accidentally kicked the ball in her direction. They shouted out in frustration but she leaped into action, dribbling down the field and scored a goal. The boys were silent after that and started passing to her. The student is now in eight-grade, and that wasn’t the only time something like that had happened to her.
Something similar happened to another girl just last year when she was in seventh grade. There was a lunchtime basketball tournament among the classes. One rule was that at least one girl had to be playing on court at a time for each team. This rule was met by many protests from the boys. Nevertheless, the rule stood, as it had many years before. The boys always put one girl, nothing other than one girl and four boys. When the games started, they never passed to the girl that was playing. Finally, one of the four girls that were rotating on and off managed to intercept the ball from the opposing team and score a goal, all in less than fifteen seconds. After that, the boys passed to that girl, but still not to the other girls.
Both of the stories suggest that it was as if the girls had to prove themselves to the boys. As if they had to prove that they could play. However, the boys never even gave them a chance.
Every 13 to 14 year old girl who was interviewed said that at least once in her life, someone said that she couldn’t do something well because she was a girl. Most of the girls even had more than three experiences. Just think about it. If a 14 year old girl has been through more than three experiences where people have thought that they were restricted because she was a girl, how many times would that happen to a 20 year old? To a 30 year old? These things, these discriminative thoughts that people do or think can really restrict activities for girls. Another grade 8 student agrees. “People generally think that because you are a girl, you can’t be sporty or good at certain sports.” She says. This is true; but it doesn’t just happen in sports, it also happens in things like engineering, computer sciences and web designing.
This idea that ‘girls can’t’ doesn’t just appear in schools. It’s apparent in real life, too; like when you’re an adult. Gretchen Cawthorn is a lady who knows what it’s like to be told that she can’t do something because she’s a girl. When working in an internet-orientated company, Gretchen was told that girls can’t do web design by a business partner. In 2005, she proved him wrong by setting up ‘Girls Can’t What’ (girlscantwhat.com) all by herself. ‘Girls Can’t What’ is a website that provides girls with the opportunity to share their stories and receive inspiration from others. “The world is not against you, they just don’t know you.” Gretchen says. What she means to say by this is that although people may think that you can’t do something just because you’re a girl, it doesn’t mean that they are preventing you from doing anything. It might be hard, but you just have to step up and make them realise that you can. Make them know the real you, not some stereotype about girls.
So what else can you do about this issue that has been going on for decades, maybe even centuries? Everything comes down to the younger generations. Teach the young to have respect. From a young age, being exposed to an open mindset about girls can shape the future, especially the future of females.
But what about now, you might ask. What can you do now? Well, for boys, change your mindset! Don’t ever think that girls can’t do something just because they’re girls. Don’t separate the females from the males. Give both of them equal chance to prove themselves. If you’ve never thought girls couldn’t do something, keep it up.
And girls, to all the girls. Don’t let boys get you down, show them that you can do it. If somebody says that you can’t, use their comments as motivation to show them that you can; you need to prove them wrong. If you prove them wrong, you can prove the rest of the world wrong, too. Ignore any criticism you get from anybody. Just focus on doing what you love. It might take some time, so be patient. The world will need some time to change people’s ways of thinking, but they can change, and they will.
Sources:
Girls Can’t What by Gretchen Cawthorn
http://www.girlscantwhat.com/about/
The UWCSEA Community Stands Up Against Cancer.
A highly anticipated event brings the UWCSEA community together as students and teachers alike shave their head for cancer with help of The Cancer Awareness GC during their lunch time to take time and cherish those who lost to hair loss cancer on March 20th. UWCSEA is definitely making a change in this world as many others need to do too.
High school, middle school and primary school students of UWCSEA gathered together in the plaza to support the 48 participants who were shaving their head for cancer awareness and more importantly to share why they we taking part in this event. Student Ali Shah from 7PGu said that he was doing this for years and now he is attached to it. Weeks before, participants we required to go around collecting donations bring the UWC community together for the greater good.
A passionate crowd stood for the duration of all 3 lunch times supporting the contributors showing their admiration for their bravery. The students came onto the stage in the tent plaza and shared a message as to why they were participating. One of the youngest students, a grade 3 child Morgan Radford-Gray participated said he was shaving his head for his friend who was currently battling cancer. After they finished, they left the stage with a smile earning a roaring applause from the audience.
This event raised over SG$ 65,000 and went towards Cancer Patients Aid Association (CPAA) in Mumbai, India. Over the 3 years that this event has been added to the UWC community it has raised over SG$ 125,000. In addition, 19 girls shaved their long hair for the Singapore based Recycle Your Hair which makes wigs for cancer patients in Singapore.
Students are not being forced to do this in any shape or form, they are wholeheartedly, doing this out of their own will. Students find the motivation to do this for people close to them they have lost due to cancer.
Schools like UWCSEA are taking action for this deadly disease and it is bringing people closer together. Highly awaited events like these are making a difference and raising awareness about fundraisers like these in the world we live in. The world needs more events like this to make our world a better place.
High school, middle school and primary school students of UWCSEA gathered together in the plaza to support the 48 participants who were shaving their head for cancer awareness and more importantly to share why they we taking part in this event. Student Ali Shah from 7PGu said that he was doing this for years and now he is attached to it. Weeks before, participants we required to go around collecting donations bring the UWC community together for the greater good.
A passionate crowd stood for the duration of all 3 lunch times supporting the contributors showing their admiration for their bravery. The students came onto the stage in the tent plaza and shared a message as to why they were participating. One of the youngest students, a grade 3 child Morgan Radford-Gray participated said he was shaving his head for his friend who was currently battling cancer. After they finished, they left the stage with a smile earning a roaring applause from the audience.
This event raised over SG$ 65,000 and went towards Cancer Patients Aid Association (CPAA) in Mumbai, India. Over the 3 years that this event has been added to the UWC community it has raised over SG$ 125,000. In addition, 19 girls shaved their long hair for the Singapore based Recycle Your Hair which makes wigs for cancer patients in Singapore.
Students are not being forced to do this in any shape or form, they are wholeheartedly, doing this out of their own will. Students find the motivation to do this for people close to them they have lost due to cancer.
Schools like UWCSEA are taking action for this deadly disease and it is bringing people closer together. Highly awaited events like these are making a difference and raising awareness about fundraisers like these in the world we live in. The world needs more events like this to make our world a better place.
Is Football Becoming Too Much Of A Money Oriented Sport?
Football, a sport that has revolutionised over the last 50 years or so. In the last 3-12 years, we have been seeing clubs with truck loads of money dominating the footballing scene. Teams like Chelsea and Manchester City. We want to ask one question, Is football becoming too much of a money oriented sport?
The main thing we people have to look back at is the money spending and money oriented clubs like Chelsea and Manchester City. For Chelsea Football Club a russian businessman by the name of Roman Abramovich bought the club back in 2003, now Chelsea have won 4 league titles in the last 11 seasons and 1 UEFA Champions League.
This clearly indicates that money can make a huge difference to a team's success. Chelsea were not known to be a footballing superpower but after the russian takeover everything changed and since they are dominating, other fans are hating them even more because of the success overnight. Aayush, a student at UWCSEA East and a proud Chelsea fan does claim that money buys trophies but says that money doesn't buy happiness. All he cares is that the club wins trophies whether the fans are happy or not so because success only matters. He also only cares about the team and if they win. Look, football nowadays have fans like this but are we losing the joy of feeling the game. Chelsea fans are probably the first set of fans to be like they are.
Plus, they are known to play boring football. If you want the sport to be interesting you have to make the game more intense. How do you do that you ask? Well the team has to create more chances and score more goals because at the end of the day whichever team that has more goals wins. According to myfootballfacts.com, during Chelsea’s 4 league winning seasons, the average goals per game ratio in the league is 2.59 goals. Compare that ratio to other seasons, it is actually low. not only that but the whole average GPG ratio for all of the Premier League seasons are 2.64 goals. This offers evidence that defence wins titles though all of the fans may have not enjoyed it with less goals being scored.
Fast Forward to 2008 when another mid table English team Manchester City Football Club was bought buy Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, the head of the Abu Dhabi United Group and was also Deputy Prime Minister of the UAE. What followed for the club were 2 league titles in the last 4 seasons.
As exciting as football is, these clubs that used to finish mid table are dominating their respective leagues and rose to fame for the reason of money. Manchester City had not won the league title in 44 years until the 2011-2012 season where they won it in their 4th season after the arab takeover. Not to mention they also have had the same impact as Chelsea by winning because of money.
Though a huge difference Manchester City has compared to Chelsea is that Manchester City City do not fill up their stadium. The Daily Mail, a British news company had reported in October, Manchester City had matches against AFC Bournemouth and Sevilla FC. In those matches in their 60,000 capacity stadium, the fans filled 54,502 seats which included a large section with no seats but when the team played against Sevilla FC in a Champions League match mid week, the attendance for the match was 45,595 people with parts of the stadium patched with no people. For a club that is growing quickly into a successful club, they should be filling up almost every seat. Like no offence to Bournemouth but only a 45,595 attendance for a Champions League match against the defending back to back Europa League winners? Surely that is a disgrace and also this portrays the fact that these fans do not care about the team so much and instead think their team will win all of the time.
The next steps for these clubs are first should be to fill up the stadium because first, one key factor that comes in are attendance because the ticket money supporters pay to see their clubs go to the clubs themselves. That money can also be used to buy players in the transfer windows. Also on the fact according to UEFA during the transfer window, a club can only spend on players using the money they earned that season. So as the moral, even if your club is facing an easy team or whatever, the money you spend on tickets when you go to a match is transferred to the club on which they can spend on to make your team better by buying new player and so on!
Two, teams would have more exciting tactics when playing other teams because in football at the end of the day, whatever team scores the most goals win. Even if a team cannot score goals, they should make the game more interesting and intense by creating many chances to score, plus it makes them have more of a change to get a goal. Like for example Manchester City though they do not fill up the stadium, they score goals. In their 2 league winning seasons. The whole league averaged 2.79 goals which means the football could have possibly been more exciting season season. Chelsea on the other hand have been a very defencive team. Last season Chelsea had a tactic which was very effective and brought them the league title and the tactic was called “Park the Bus”. What happens is that Chelsea would score an early goal or just one goal in the whole match but, they would have everyone playing defending behind the ball so the other team have no chance of scoring. It made the results come but fans all across the league were against it as games felt more boring for them.
In conclusion, teams that are money oriented are making the sport money oriented and if they change some things they are doing wrong for the community, then everyone can enjoy the beautiful game whether it is filling up stadiums or changing general mentality or making games exciting by tactics change, we people can help make the sport how it should be.
The main thing we people have to look back at is the money spending and money oriented clubs like Chelsea and Manchester City. For Chelsea Football Club a russian businessman by the name of Roman Abramovich bought the club back in 2003, now Chelsea have won 4 league titles in the last 11 seasons and 1 UEFA Champions League.
This clearly indicates that money can make a huge difference to a team's success. Chelsea were not known to be a footballing superpower but after the russian takeover everything changed and since they are dominating, other fans are hating them even more because of the success overnight. Aayush, a student at UWCSEA East and a proud Chelsea fan does claim that money buys trophies but says that money doesn't buy happiness. All he cares is that the club wins trophies whether the fans are happy or not so because success only matters. He also only cares about the team and if they win. Look, football nowadays have fans like this but are we losing the joy of feeling the game. Chelsea fans are probably the first set of fans to be like they are.
Plus, they are known to play boring football. If you want the sport to be interesting you have to make the game more intense. How do you do that you ask? Well the team has to create more chances and score more goals because at the end of the day whichever team that has more goals wins. According to myfootballfacts.com, during Chelsea’s 4 league winning seasons, the average goals per game ratio in the league is 2.59 goals. Compare that ratio to other seasons, it is actually low. not only that but the whole average GPG ratio for all of the Premier League seasons are 2.64 goals. This offers evidence that defence wins titles though all of the fans may have not enjoyed it with less goals being scored.
Fast Forward to 2008 when another mid table English team Manchester City Football Club was bought buy Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, the head of the Abu Dhabi United Group and was also Deputy Prime Minister of the UAE. What followed for the club were 2 league titles in the last 4 seasons.
As exciting as football is, these clubs that used to finish mid table are dominating their respective leagues and rose to fame for the reason of money. Manchester City had not won the league title in 44 years until the 2011-2012 season where they won it in their 4th season after the arab takeover. Not to mention they also have had the same impact as Chelsea by winning because of money.
Though a huge difference Manchester City has compared to Chelsea is that Manchester City City do not fill up their stadium. The Daily Mail, a British news company had reported in October, Manchester City had matches against AFC Bournemouth and Sevilla FC. In those matches in their 60,000 capacity stadium, the fans filled 54,502 seats which included a large section with no seats but when the team played against Sevilla FC in a Champions League match mid week, the attendance for the match was 45,595 people with parts of the stadium patched with no people. For a club that is growing quickly into a successful club, they should be filling up almost every seat. Like no offence to Bournemouth but only a 45,595 attendance for a Champions League match against the defending back to back Europa League winners? Surely that is a disgrace and also this portrays the fact that these fans do not care about the team so much and instead think their team will win all of the time.
The next steps for these clubs are first should be to fill up the stadium because first, one key factor that comes in are attendance because the ticket money supporters pay to see their clubs go to the clubs themselves. That money can also be used to buy players in the transfer windows. Also on the fact according to UEFA during the transfer window, a club can only spend on players using the money they earned that season. So as the moral, even if your club is facing an easy team or whatever, the money you spend on tickets when you go to a match is transferred to the club on which they can spend on to make your team better by buying new player and so on!
Two, teams would have more exciting tactics when playing other teams because in football at the end of the day, whatever team scores the most goals win. Even if a team cannot score goals, they should make the game more interesting and intense by creating many chances to score, plus it makes them have more of a change to get a goal. Like for example Manchester City though they do not fill up the stadium, they score goals. In their 2 league winning seasons. The whole league averaged 2.79 goals which means the football could have possibly been more exciting season season. Chelsea on the other hand have been a very defencive team. Last season Chelsea had a tactic which was very effective and brought them the league title and the tactic was called “Park the Bus”. What happens is that Chelsea would score an early goal or just one goal in the whole match but, they would have everyone playing defending behind the ball so the other team have no chance of scoring. It made the results come but fans all across the league were against it as games felt more boring for them.
In conclusion, teams that are money oriented are making the sport money oriented and if they change some things they are doing wrong for the community, then everyone can enjoy the beautiful game whether it is filling up stadiums or changing general mentality or making games exciting by tactics change, we people can help make the sport how it should be.
The Teenage War Of Independence
Ever heard of the American War of Independence? It was a war fought between the newly emerged United States of America and their parent country, the kingdom of Great Britain. The United States were looking for freedom, to find their own way into the world instead of following the restricting and ‘unpopular’ laws of Great Britain. That war was hundred’s of years ago but in reality, this war is being played out thousands of times a day all around the world. Millions of these versions of the American war of Independence have two sides. Teenagers versus Parents. Wars started by kids who grow to realize that they need their own freedom and independence. Each teenager fighting their own war, for their own Freedom. However these small wars aren’t fought with guns and cannons, these wars are fought with words and emotions.
Parents always wonder why teenagers are always seeking to expand their restrictions and boundaries. These boundaries take on many forms including going out, taking transportation by yourself, social media, spending money, homework times and more. What parents don’t consider is that having more freedom in their life is important. These boundaries take on every part of their lives. The more freedom and different choices they themselves get, the more action they have in shaping their lives they way they want. Their life is theirs after all.
A survey done on a group of 10 teenagers in UWCSEA East campus shows that the majority of the teens said that freedom feels good and makes you feel older. What is revealed for the average teenager is that freedom in all its aspects is intoxicating. An addictive stronger than any other. But there is a reason why teenagers are geared this way. Freedom is the closest thing to being an independent adult. Being a teenager is one step away from being an adult. The way the Teenagers seek independence is to prepare them for an adulthood of complete independence of one’s self.
It is literally implied in the name Young Adults.
Let's Imagine not being able to do homework just because it is past a certain time. That is normal for students Sam and Ellen Potter. An imprisonment of digital connection when 8:00 passes. Sometimes Sam says “I cannot use the internet for homework, even if my Humanities is due the next day”. He also says that he juggles his social media time, homework time and browsing time to efficiently do what he needs and wants to do when connected online before the daily deadline his parents put in place ends. While this may deem good or bad in the present and the immediate future, the question is how this might affect them in the far future. Forcing them to do their homework early certainly helps them do their homework early and quickly. But letting them manage their own time independently and nurturing a fully grown trust in your teenager, isn’t that the more important path for a maturing Young Adult.
Let's Imagine not being able to do homework just because it is past a certain time. That is normal for students Sam and Ellen Potter. An imprisonment of digital connection when 8:00 passes. Sometimes Sam says “I cannot use the internet for homework, even if my Humanities is due the next day”. He also says that he juggles his social media time, homework time and browsing time to efficiently do what he needs and wants to do when connected online before the daily deadline his parents put in place ends. While this may deem good or bad in the present and the immediate future, the question is how this might affect them in the far future. Forcing them to do their homework early certainly helps them do their homework early and quickly. But letting them manage their own time independently and nurturing a fully grown trust in your teenager, isn’t that the more important path for a maturing Young Adult.
Parents stance on different freedoms also vary, it depends more on the circumstance. UWCSEA student Mie Ovesen says that normally, her father allows her to go out while her mum is more protective. But recently, she was going to a party she wanted to go to but boys are attending. Opinions switched around. Her normally accepting dad replies with a straightforward no while her mum is shouting yes. Parents are always doing what they think is best for their children and circumstance can more then bend the normal boundaries and freedoms in half when the time calls for it. But teenagers should respect their decision as long as it is reasonable. Communication is essential during scenarios like these so that teenagers can talk with their parents on their decision and opinions made clear.
After interviewing some more students from UWCSEA, the topic has been taken into new light. One student says that “they don’t like being controlled”. Another students said “they had a fomo-fear of missing out on everything”. In fact, every student said they are fomos in some degree. Fomo fears tend to happen due to viewing events from posts or “snaps” on social media. Thus teenagers want to join in the fun and events but many teenagers cannot just walk out of the house. They would have restrictions in place that would limit them. Maye having to do homework then, not being able to take a cab to get there let alone being allowed out at all. It would be good for parents to combat this as many teenagers might start to feel jealous of their friends. It is recommended to sit down and talk to them, or take them out yourself.
Another data analysis suggests that teenagers are influenced a lot by music, sport, media and more importantly, friends. Peer pressure is always a big deal in a teenagers life, for anything really. These sources encourage teenagers to seek a variety of different freedoms. The data records that 9 in every 10 people have more than 4 social media accounts for different social websites and that 100% of those with social media accounts were influenced to have those accounts due to friends or the fact that it is a new trend. Influence from many places are important and shaped their lives and the freedoms they get as a maturing young adult. Parents do try to encourage some influences and cut down others but in the end, does it really matter? What parents need to understand is that the teenager’s life is their life. You are their parents and should support them every step of the way but they need to make the big choices and choose their life as a growing young adult. If you cannot trust your teenager to do anything on his/her own without being there to do everything for them, then will you ever be able to trust them even if they are a grown adult?
Which brings me to my last few points. As a parent it is beneficial to help and support your teenager when they need your help. It would be best to organize a system with your teenager on discussing about how they are going in their life and any significant events that happened, etc. You would want to get that connection so that you can discuss about the necessary boundaries needed in the different freedoms you have and effectively form a bond with your teenager. Parents and teenagers each have their own unique system of sharing and freedoms. It doesn’t matter how you do it as long as that connection and sharing is there. It would be better for your teenager to trust you completely and be able to rely on you in any time of need. Once that has happened you can easily discuss the regulations that will be put in place for your teen. but remember, it is always good to slowly give more freedom to them so that they continue to maintain a level of independence and responsibility.
Surprisingly enough, every teenage students interviewed on the survey all generally responded that there should be a couple of restrictions in general. Absolute freedom isn’t all that good. It also depends on the who, as everyone is different. That is most definitely true. Parents need to know that children respect the boundaries put in place on their different aspects of life. Student Fayyaz Ahmed sums up what is on every student’s mind, “I respect those restrictions and respecting the restrictions strengthens my parents trust in me”. All they want in return is recognition to open those boundaries ever so slightly and be able to trust them with new responsibilities and freedoms the more they grow up. Sometimes, a bid for independence doesn’t need to end up in stretched out war, mutual agreements can always be made.
After interviewing some more students from UWCSEA, the topic has been taken into new light. One student says that “they don’t like being controlled”. Another students said “they had a fomo-fear of missing out on everything”. In fact, every student said they are fomos in some degree. Fomo fears tend to happen due to viewing events from posts or “snaps” on social media. Thus teenagers want to join in the fun and events but many teenagers cannot just walk out of the house. They would have restrictions in place that would limit them. Maye having to do homework then, not being able to take a cab to get there let alone being allowed out at all. It would be good for parents to combat this as many teenagers might start to feel jealous of their friends. It is recommended to sit down and talk to them, or take them out yourself.
Another data analysis suggests that teenagers are influenced a lot by music, sport, media and more importantly, friends. Peer pressure is always a big deal in a teenagers life, for anything really. These sources encourage teenagers to seek a variety of different freedoms. The data records that 9 in every 10 people have more than 4 social media accounts for different social websites and that 100% of those with social media accounts were influenced to have those accounts due to friends or the fact that it is a new trend. Influence from many places are important and shaped their lives and the freedoms they get as a maturing young adult. Parents do try to encourage some influences and cut down others but in the end, does it really matter? What parents need to understand is that the teenager’s life is their life. You are their parents and should support them every step of the way but they need to make the big choices and choose their life as a growing young adult. If you cannot trust your teenager to do anything on his/her own without being there to do everything for them, then will you ever be able to trust them even if they are a grown adult?
Which brings me to my last few points. As a parent it is beneficial to help and support your teenager when they need your help. It would be best to organize a system with your teenager on discussing about how they are going in their life and any significant events that happened, etc. You would want to get that connection so that you can discuss about the necessary boundaries needed in the different freedoms you have and effectively form a bond with your teenager. Parents and teenagers each have their own unique system of sharing and freedoms. It doesn’t matter how you do it as long as that connection and sharing is there. It would be better for your teenager to trust you completely and be able to rely on you in any time of need. Once that has happened you can easily discuss the regulations that will be put in place for your teen. but remember, it is always good to slowly give more freedom to them so that they continue to maintain a level of independence and responsibility.
Surprisingly enough, every teenage students interviewed on the survey all generally responded that there should be a couple of restrictions in general. Absolute freedom isn’t all that good. It also depends on the who, as everyone is different. That is most definitely true. Parents need to know that children respect the boundaries put in place on their different aspects of life. Student Fayyaz Ahmed sums up what is on every student’s mind, “I respect those restrictions and respecting the restrictions strengthens my parents trust in me”. All they want in return is recognition to open those boundaries ever so slightly and be able to trust them with new responsibilities and freedoms the more they grow up. Sometimes, a bid for independence doesn’t need to end up in stretched out war, mutual agreements can always be made.
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