Teenage Insecurity

Oh the things we do to fit in. We go so far but really? How far are we going?

It’s a Wednesday afternoon and a girl is crying in the bathroom alone because she doesn’t feel good enough. She put in so much effort into studying at home but she get’s a 4 in her test. She decides to lie to her parents because she doesn’t want to let them down. She lied to the people closest to her. But why?

Feeling like you're not good enough is very common. A middle school student quotes, “Because we have access to the internet, we have created this perfect body image that nobody can achieve”. This evidence signifies that if a girl doesn’t feel like she meets the standard of the perfect girl, then she is useless and isn’t perfect but then again, nobody is perfect. Middle school girls can feel many different ways. Like they’re not smart enough, popular enough, fun enough, good enough for anyone and anything. They can feel like this at home, at school, with their friends and when they’re alone.

More and more teens are feeling insecure everyday and one of the main factors of this is social media. Most girls have social media. According to Jon Negroni, he says that “Bragging can cause low self-esteem. As a result of this, it’s not just bragging anymore, it’s become a social competition.” Teens go on social media and see what other people are doing and how much fun they’re having. This causes them to feel left out and them wanting what that person has. But why would we want what others have when we could have just as much as them.

Why can’t we accept what we have and what we don’t have. Why do we have the want for everything else? Why can't we accept what we have and who we are and not try to change because everybody is perfect and nobody should have the want to change to get someone’s approval.

Social media does have its’ pros and cons for example seeing what your family is doing and keeping in touch with friends but then again, social media can lead to insecurity and in major cases depression. Social media can be perceived in many different ways, many good and many bad. That’s all up to the person who is affected by social media in the first place.

Another factor that plays a big role with insecurity and teens is not talking to their parents/ guardians. 7 in 10 girls believe that they are not good enough or measure up to their parents expectations. What is revealed here is that girls need to talk to their parents about their expectations and what they can and cannot achieve. Being scared about your parents is not the way to go. The top wishes among teenage girls is to communicate with their parents better.

This indicates that if teens just talked to their parents, they wouldn’t have to be insecure about most the things they are with. They wouldn’t need to be scared of not looking good enough for their friends, for getting the best grade on a test and fitting in. Because if girls just talked to their parents, they could receive some great advice which would help them in the future, for anything. Talking to your parents could be the easiest remedy for teen insecurity.

If you are feeling insecure for whatever reason, try talking to the people closest to you. For example your parents/ guardian, teachers or friends. They will understand what you're going through and will want to help you as much as they can. Another thing to try is disconnecting from social media for a while. Enjoy your life as it is and not what other people are doing in tiny minescule pictures on your screen. If you want to wear something or do your hair in a different way, just do it. Nobody should care what people think because if you like it, then that's what matters. What matters is that you're happy and that you are living life to the extreme.

We need strong empowered woman in this world and if girls are feeling insecure about how they look, the world is going to crumble. Yes boys do work and put in the effort and woman can do the exact same thing as them and in some cases, even better. If girls are insecure, the school will struggle. No one will have a strong opinion about how girls are treated and act making the boys push the girls around. Girls should be able to stand up for themselves but if everyone is insecure and afraid, then how are girls going to stand up for themselves in the real world past school?

What if most of the girls in the world were insecure, what would the world look like? Girls would have no rights or any privileges.  If you know you are insecure or know somebody who does feel insecure, talk to them and all of their problems could be solved. You just need to talk.

The Problem With Girls Self-Esteem

The teenager will avoid eye contact with the rest of the class while doing a presentation.

She’ll speak quietly to avoid embarrassment not wanting to attract attention to herself.

And it’s not because she’s shy.

‘3/4’ girls admit to being affected by what people think of them.’ Says student from Oregon State University. ‘ And it increases to 98% by the time they are 20.’ She says researching the behaviour of girls aged between 12 and 20.

Middle and high school students are constantly stressing about other people’s opinions of them. Unknowingly lowering their self-esteem and increasing their insecurity. Everyday they are hiding their tears pretending to be as happy as a child walking into The Magic Kingdom. It is showing us that they are pretending to be okay when they really are not.

The students of Oregon State University initially learnt about the insecurity among teen girls when one students relatives talked about her fear of getting judged in school. After noticing what a large issue this is she surveyed many girls and found out the 85% of girls are insecure. And more than 50% say it’s because of external pressure from others.

That is what should worry people. Insecurity is also shaped from how you are treated at home, the kind of environment you live in. ‘Insecurity is very present in the 21st century’ say a researcher from NYCU. ‘And it only drives people away from you. People won’t want to spend that much time with you anymore. ‘

Indeed, experts say insecurity and peer pressure can limit your opportunities and make it more difficult for you to make friends. In addition, insecurity will add stress to you lifestyle therefore causing more people to judge you. And they also suggest that when you are an insecure teen who cares about others opinions on you, it last fir many years and will not just disappear.

3/4 teens worry about others opinions and only 1/4 teens acknowledge that everyone is good at something and bad at something which is why ‘no one should judge anyone.’ The teen continued saying ‘ I could easily judge you on something you’re bad at, but I don’t.’

For the most part girls go around everyday without anyone knowing that they are insecure. 6/7 say they think they hide their insecurities well and 80% of girls say they don’t notice if their friends are insecure about something.

These girls don’t know themselves why they are so insecure, or why they care about what other people think of them. But the girl who walks through the crowded hallway with her head down looking for any sign of judgement among peers. However this same girl is being admired for her bravery and her confidence by one of her peers, completely unaware of her insecurities eating her alive.

But now, students are fed up with their insecurities and are getting help from their friends to make them more confident and less worried about what others are saying. One child from UWCSEA writes down things the feels good about everyday. Another student remembers all of the great things she has done whenever she feels like she hasn’t done something right. These are just simple things that anyone one insecure can do too.

And if nothing works, just remember that you are not alone.